This is Oklahoma. We have tornados..lots of them! Tornados form from an extreme struggle between warm and cold air. We all sit on our porch and watch if there is any light left in the sky. There is usually not much warning beforehand except maybe a slight suspicion.
I often feel that way about our life right now. A lot of you may not know we have this major joy and this major crisis going on at the same time. The two don't go together at all. In fact there are moments that I have found myself lost at which emotion to feel. And that brings me to the feet of Jesus. Sunday I felt like I sat through a funeral during the service I was a mess of tears and it was Mother's Day which probably didn't help.
Our pastor talked about adversity. Summed up: "Trust God and follow the plan"
We are holding onto each other and praying for enough grace to make it through each day. We are praying that our questions of why this, why now, why us, and how long will this last bring us closer to trusting God. I have found that at times I'm standing on the facts that I believe with all my heart because my feelings make me feel un-cared for by him and I KNOW the FACTS that this is NOT true. I don't often think of the "father of lies" but I KNOW he exists and I don't doubt for a second he is on the edge of our minds looking for a crack to enter our thoughts and feed on the doubt that could devastate us.
Here is the thing the plan, God's plan is for us to adopt a 4 year old girl no matter what our circumstances say. And we have been well prepared that adoption is a life long battle against our child's history, her beginnings. And we are about to face it head on and what Satan would use as a playground to wreck this child's life. God is sending us to rescue her; to breathe life into a child neglected and abandoned who without us would spend her whole life in an institution never to be introduced to the Lord who Loves her. We are obeying the call to adopt her, to love her, to redeem her life, to tell her she is worthy of love and grace, to make her our daughter, to graft her in to our family tree. That doesn't sit well with Satan I'm sure. This is NOT going to be easy. The War for her is real. And so we stand with Christ. In the midst of a job crisis. Truly depending on God for our future, for grace for each other, for enough love and forgiveness to last each day, for enough money to survive this layoff, for a new career for Grant, for the parenting wisdom to teach the child who was sent to the principle's office for hitting today, for the strength to outlast the "next" thing thrown on our plate.
If you want to know how to pray for us:
Pray for a job offer.
Pray that we trust God despite our circumstances.
Pray for Caroline. She is about to be uprooted from EVERYTHING she has ever known. Pray that the nannies prepare her for the transition. But really she has no concept of family so there isn't much they can do.
Pray for me. I might not be her favorite (this is typical I've heard) in fact she may have nothing to do with me for days. If this happens it will be hard. REAL hard.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge to him, and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3: 5-6
|Updated picture of Caroline taken a few weeks ago...|